Why Global Warming Is a Bitch

Published 26th October 2010 - 2 comments - 839 views -

They came. They listened, and then some idiot mentioned carbon-dioxide emission reduction, and they all went their separate ways again. COP15 one-oh-one.

I watched in horror, as the Danish PM took a personal day due to stress, during the final negotiation rounds of last years number one media show. COME ON! At least the Mexican government knows what not to do, when they get their shot at saving the world environment in Cancun one month from now.

And anyways: who are we kidding?! In a time of financial drought and the very predominant ‘I will if you will’ mentality that seems to go around these days, no agreement will ever be made.  

In my small insignificant home country of Denmark, I live in the hopes that someday the climate will change, and I will get sunny days and warm evening-breezes. I wish for Sicilian summers – minus the volcano hazard – and for sub-Saharan winters. ‘Cause cold and clammy just ain’t my thang.

But even though temperatures are rising and it seems to go my way - reality sets in. If in fact the temperature does rise five degrees celcius or so within the next ninety years, my cold and clammy country will become even more so – as the greater parts of the extensive coastline will be consumed by the surrounding seas. Think New Orleans and Katrina circa September oh-five.

The warm waters in the Gulf Stream will turn due to excessive flows of icy rivers from the melting poles and the Greenland ice sheet, thus leaving the Atlantic sea vulnerable to ice up and become the start of a new ice age. – Guess who didn’t get her Sicilian summers?!

But even though unwillingness to reduce carbon-dioxide emissions is a problem, the real reason that global warming is a bitch, is that every once in a while, nature does what nature sees fit and heat up our planet – or cool it down – just because it can. Like any other self-respecting bitch.

The Smithsonian Center for Education and Museum Studies holds entire lesson plans for ‘Prehistoric Climate Change, and Why It Matters Today’, so something tells me that the phenomena of hot and cold has been around for some time now.

Will we survive the climate changes? Will our children? Or our children’s children? Probably. But most importantly: our planet will survive. As famine, earthquakes, meteorite impacts, hurricanes, tsunamis and disease unleash their devastating powers on the population every once in a while, so does climate change. And the magnificent blue planet has lived through it all.

Can emission reductions help at all? Depends on which scholar you ask, and which day you ask him. The answers vary from day to day – or at least from each economic growth curve to the next. But somehow it seems appropriate though: whenever we take a hold on our planet’s resources – the bitch bites back.

Category: Climate History, | Tags:

Line Leonhard
Denmark
Journalist

Im a 28-year old journalist, who graduated from the Danish School for Journalism in November of last year. I am currently working as a communications liaison for a public school in Denmark, and also doing some freelance writing whenever I have the sparetime. During my education I primarily focused on international affairs, and thus hope to o so again in the future. I must admit that I have given climate chang close to no thought at all since the disgraceful attempt at reaching a climate agreement in Copenhagen last year. But this seems to be as good a reason as any to dive back into the climate debate and get global warming back on the media's agenda.

View all posts

Often imitated. Never duplicated. TH!NK ABOUT IT is a project by the European Journalism Centre.