Post
What did the lightbulb say when it was switched off?
“I’m delighted!”
In that sense I`d like to enlighten your Thursday with a dose of green positivism. Enjoy the rest of the work week and smile! This is the greenest thing in the human being 
20 Green-ish Jokes to Be Reused, Recycled, Repurposed (or Maybe Just Composted)
1. Q: How many humans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Wait, are we absolutely certain the light bulb needs changing?
2. President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun". (David Letterman)
3. They say if the warming trend continues, by 2015 Hillary Clinton might actually thaw out. (Jay Leno)
4. President Bush has a plan [to fight global warming]. We can lower the temperature dramatically just by switching from Fahrenheit t
o Celsius. (Jimmy Kimmel)
5. "Scientists say because of global warming they expect the world's oceans to rise four and a half feet. The scientists say this can mean only one thing: Gary Coleman is going to drown." (Conan O'Brien)
6. Lisa: "Do we have any f
ood that wasn't brutally slaughtered?"
Homer: "Well, I think the veal died of loneliness." (Matt Groening, The Simpsons)
7. A parish priest is to offer ‘eco-sinners’ the chance to confess in what is thought to be the first ‘green’ confessional booth. Obviously you can’t confess all your sins in one go but must separate bottle, paper and plastic confessions.
8. "I love little children too but I don't cut off their heads and stick them in vases." (George Bernard Shaw, on flowers)
9. "Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong." (George Carlin)
10. "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." (Dan Quayle, former US vice president)
11. An environmentalist dies and reports
to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an environmentalist- you're in the wrong place." Thinking that heaven could never make an error, the environmentalist reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the environmentalist gets dissatisfied with the environment in hell and starts implementing eco-friendly improvements. After a while, global warming, air and water pollution are under control. The landscape is covered with grass and plants, the food is organic, and the people are happy. The environmentalist has become a pretty popular guy. One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got clean air and water, the temperature is better and the food tastes better, and there's no telling what this environmentalist is going to fix next." God replies, "What??? You've got an environmentalist? That's a mistake- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way. I like having an environmentalist on the staff, and I'm keeping him." God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?"
12. Q. How many environmentalists does it 
take to change a light bulb?
A. Ten. One to write the light bulb a letter requesting that it change. Four to circulate online petitions. One to file a lawsuit demanding it change. One to send the light bulb loving kindness, knowing that this is the only way real change occurs. One to accept the light bulb precisely the way it is, clear in the knowledge that to not accept another is to do great harm to oneself. One to write a book about how and why the light bulb needs to change. And finally, one to smash the #$^#&ing light bulb, because we all know it's never going to change." (Derrick Jensen)
13. Q: Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards?
A: Because they don't like getting a flush.
14. Tom Cruise is about to sign up
to a new, high-tech, eco thriller: Mission Compostable.
15. Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.
16. Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers?
17. “Arnold Schwarzenegger is blaming man for global warming. And today, Al Gore agreed with him. That’s so typical. Two cyborgs, ‘Oh, let’s blame the humans.’” (Jay Leno)
18. How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb at Greenpeace?
Four to hang a banner at the General Electric plant, one to screw in the bulb made from recycled ketchup bottles.
19. An environmentalist, a climate sceptic and George Bush walk into a bar. They each order a beer from the bartender. "I'll have a Heineken" says the environmentalist. "Gimme a Bud" says the sceptic. George Bush says, "I guess I'll have a Panda. Mama's always wanted a nice rug for the den".
20. Crafting Eco-jokе: "One man's scope 3 is another man's scope 1". If you know what that means, you're a GHG geek. Welcome to the club.
Comments
You forgot about the most hilarious strips ever:
Wulff Morgenthaler
They’re not focused on green issues, but they’re brilliant!
This made my evening turn to be nice
THX!
I`m glad you liked my post
I think it`s worthy a lot to know people like you. Maybe I haven`t lived that long in a green atmosphere, but things has changed a lot thanks to you guys! Today one old fr asked me what do I think that I do ecologically? Maybe I cut my garbage in a special machine? I have a special water reducing water system in my bath? I throw my garbage only separetly? Not all of these questions can be solved that easily. But we all learn. Till that day - I think I am also doing something!:)
Laugh is good for health!
Yes, it is indeed.
Yes, the largest and most oppressive tax in the history of my country is about to go before parliament, the media is going on a fear-mongering blitz claiming oceans will rise over 1 metre by the end of the century, but hey let’s laugh about it!
Better laugh than cry. Or maybe it`s better to stay in front of the computer and writing some posts or commentaries without doing something actually. Oceans rise, species die, we live in a pigstry and watch people who THROW THEIR GARBAGE FROM THEIR WINDOWS on the streets! This is our reality. Spain looks nice outside, but just look on the backstreets dirt. Italy is not that different from Spain in this sense. You can always say, yeah they take care but that is only from the outside. Germany is cool, but then again punkers boasert with their way of living full of empty bottles of beer and graphitti on the wall of cemeteries.
Armenia`s capital Erevan has one of the best centers in the world, but if you go outside it you see how people really do live. Some of them live in that old buildings which can demolish each second. In the sea of Copenhagen there are bottles, trash and I`ll post photos of them. Nobody is perfect. It`s all what we PEOPLE have done, destroyng all around us. Like the Roman empire demolished under its own power. We have the best force to put end to our agonies!
I don’t care what your positions are, nobody should support legislation that won’t even solve the problem it is supposed to. It’s all pain and no gain. What a travesty.
And I don`t give damn what you think, because at least I stand behind my postions AND NAME and don`t whimper all the time how everybode despite me ARE WRONG.
SO, GROW UP.
If you intend to write me in that manner, better not hesitate to do it all.
The legislation can change things, when it is applied on the right way and when the important refreferendums are made. We cannot solve all the problems of the humanity, but the least we could do is TRY. WHY? Because countries regulators are not EQUAL. Because there is also the human issue and because the way of working of the cabinets is different. Because we live in demographic different topologies and because the nations` mentalities are influenced AT A DIFFERENT WAYS. Because the issue of the climate change is differently prioritized in different countries. The problems are ALWAYS DIFFERENT DESPIDE UNDER THE SAME ICE CAP!
In France we have more and more spaces reserved for wild plants in the towns. you have now more and more butterflies. And we found new kinds of insects.
I have seen rivers that recover their biodiversity.
When I began my blog, 4 years ago, about new energies I was alone. Today I am a king!
the world has changed!
Some ones want kill me to take my position!
We have only cock-roaches around. If they could speak, they would say “Please, get us out of here! We want to live on some cleaner space! After all, we can survive an atom bomb, but you can`t”.
I think you are telling something important but I don’t understand;
I am frustrated!
Lol
sorry!
Can you explain?
This morning I have made a formidable spiritual discover!
Insane environuts are class supremacists. Most of these “useful idiots” don’t realise that they too will be purged by their own genocidal ideals.