Yes. Going green by zodiac sign. That is the title of a series of horoscopes I found a few days ago. Happily surprised about increasing popularity of being green, I decided to have a look at what the stars advise me.

First, I read the general introduction. “Green movement” … “alarming statistics about global warming” … well, not bad for an astrological piece … “Unless a paradigm shift happens in the next few years, we may end up like the dinosaurs.” … a strong, moving sentence, with an air of danger and drama … “Are you doing all you can to be part of this vital change?” … there is a challenge, a bit of reproaching for not doing enough, emphasising not only the significance of an action but also sort of privilege to be amongst pioneers of change … am I still reading introductory words to horoscopes?? … there were some examples given to easy ways to eco-living … and the last sentence: “What comes naturally to your sign?” … OK, so it is about horoscopes after all.

“You're naturally connected to the land, Taurus. You'll communicate a message of earth stewardship by using recycled materials when remodeling, and using natural fertilizers and pesticides in the garden. Try installing attractive eco-resin wall panels or pressed recycled newspaper pulp kitchen counters. Even better, build a natural home super-insulated with straw bales. And, eat less red meat – cow-generated methane is the second most significant greenhouse gas.”

Hmm … I don't really see the connection between my sign and the proposed ideas for green living … And how about eating less red meat? Is it natural for my sign to eat little red meat or, on the other hand, is it natural for Taurus to eat a lot of it? (I eat virtually none.) And don't they mention it for Taurus just because red meat involves cows and bulls …? (Like “Pisces, eat less fish” or “Gemini, cannibalism is a great way of thinning out excessive world population” …)

I examined the other horoscopes. “Use that fiery, red nature of yours to go green, Aries.” “You're a natural educator, Gemini, and people follow your example.” “You love to eat, Cancer, so get away from industrialized foods that destroy your body and the environment.” “You love the high life, Leo.” Yes, so they usually start with a particular trait, and then there are a couple of propositions (sometimes related, sometimes not). Interesting. And the hidden advertisements! “Attend music festivals sponsored by green-minded orgs like Global Inheritance.” “Give green gifts, like those from Oxfam America.” “Do research on Tribe.com to find a green yoga studio or sustainable-harvested bamboo flooring.”

I smiled over this weird “green” astrology. However, it might still be a way of doing something, a step towards the “vital change” mentioned. Some people might still adopt some of the ideas proposed. Some people might really “go green” after reading these horoscopes.

Well, to be precise, just a half of me smiled; the other one thought to herself: Thank God (or “thank Venus”?) there are horoscopes to tell me how to live greenily! I just hope I will manage to find a horoscope stating astrologically-based political preferences before the approaching parliamentary elections in Slovakia...